Meet the Mascots of SASU

“Wait… these mascots have personalities?”
Oh honey. These mascots have beef, fanbases, and criminal records (probably).

The San Antonio Sports Universe isn’t just about athletes falling in love—it’s about the unhinged mascots cheering them on, starting drama, and occasionally throwing hands at charity events. Meet the real stars of SASU:

🐂 Tank the Longhorn | San Antonio Outlaws (Football)

Vibe: Big, friendly, and loyal—unless you disrespect Texas. Then it’s personal.
Signature Move: Sidelining drama by sitting on it. Literally.
Known For: BBQ pit selfies, flag-waving chaos, and once dragging a Falcon mascot off the field by the tail.

❄️ Frostbite the Falcon | San Antonio Falcons (Hockey)

Vibe: Cold, elegant, and petty AF. Think ice princess with a slap shot.
Signature Move: Dramatic wing flaps when the ref makes a bad call (which is always).
Known For: Stealing the spotlight. And your snacks. Possibly at the same time.

🛞 Crash the Armadillo | San Antonio Armadillos (Rugby)

Vibe: Rowdy adrenaline junkie who rolls into fights and feelings with zero hesitation.
Signature Move: Somersaulting into a huddle uninvited.
Known For: Crashing (duh), cartwheeling off beer coolers, and once getting a black eye at a wedding.

🔥 Scorch the Scorpion | San Antonio Scorpions (Baseball)

Vibe: Too hot to handle, too petty to care.
Signature Move: Tail swish of judgment. Also may have started a dugout fire.
Known For: Dramatic walk-offs, hat theft, and antagonizing children and mascots equally.

🐧 Penalty Pete | Mascot of Mayhem (aka Mine)

Vibe: Deranged referee penguin with a whistle, rage issues, and a blog.
Signature Move: Throwing flags. On the field. On Twitter. In Target.
Known For: Starting fights, finishing snacks, and writing savage recaps on his blog Pete’s Penalty Box

✨ These mascots do more than cheer—they interfere, instigate, and occasionally emotionally support poor life choices.

💬 Next week: The WAGs and WAGlings—aka the off-field royalty of SASU.