Throwback Thursday: Armadillos Edition – Part II

Fan Events Gone Wild

“It was supposed to be a bake sale, not a battlefield.”
—Millie James, still frosting cupcakes defensively

The San Antonio Armadillos never do anything halfway—especially when it comes to fan events. What starts as a charity fundraiser somehow always ends with bandages, bruises, and at least one questionable tattoo.

This week, we’re diving into the most unhinged off-field moments in Armadillos history—where mascots fly, WAGs duel with spatulas, and fan appreciation nearly turned into fan hospitalization.

💥 Unforgettable Fan Fest Flashbacks:

  • The Great Cupcake Bribe Incident:
    Millie brought her famous lemon lavender cupcakes to a charity bake-off. A rival player’s kid tried to rig the vote by stealing extras. Millie caught him mid-swipe and negotiated peace via frosting. The kid is now a devoted Crash the Mascot fan and calls Millie “Coach Sugar.”

  • Mascot Mayhem 2.0:
    Crash was not supposed to crowd-surf. But one too many Red Bulls and a well-timed boy band cover sent him launching into a group of unsuspecting fans. He got a standing ovation and a sprained tail.

  • Speed Dating for Charity (Never Again):
    Players + fans + a three-minute timer = absolute disaster. Highlights include Ryan Carter using the entire round to talk about his dog, and Beau Macklin panicking and offering one fan half his protein bar.

  • The WAG Dunk Tank Drama:
    Samantha Crosby was supposed to be in the dunk tank for ten minutes. Brett missed on purpose eight times. After the ninth miss, she climbed out, soaked, glared, and said, “You sleep with one eye open now.”

🎙️ From Coach Graham Maddox:

“We do these events to give back to the fans. I just didn’t think it’d be in the form of concussed mascots and emotionally damaged cupcakes.”

⚾ Next Week on Throwback Thursday:

The Scorpions return for Part II: Dugout Disasters & Bat Flip Beef. From broken Gatorade coolers to infield meltdowns, it’s everything you love about baseball—plus Knox and Colin nearly throwing hands over sunflower seeds.

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WAFFLE WEDNESDAY: Post-Fireworks Recovery Edition