🏉 Throwback Thursday: Armadillos Edition

“Rugby doesn’t need rules. It needs therapy.”
—Anonymous trainer, probably crying

Welcome to the wild, weird, and wonderfully unhinged world of the San Antonio Armadillos—where the tackles are brutal, the mascots are unhinged (looking at you, Crash), and the throwbacks are more bruised than polished.

This week, we’re rolling into the past with the team that thinks chaos is a game plan. From bizarre training camp injuries to the infamous “tutu tackle,” the Armadillos have earned their place in the SASU hall of mayhem.

🛑 Armadillo Archives – Highlights from the Madness:

• The Mascot Headbutt Incident:
  Crash the Armadillo once got so hyped during a post-try celebration that he accidentally headbutted the referee. The ref was fine. Crash needed four stitches and a new tail.

• The Tutu Tackle:
  Millie James (now Armadillos WAG royalty) once tackled Drew Callahan in the middle of a fan event while wearing a pink tutu. To this day, no one knows why. Drew’s only comment was: “She had good form. I married her.”

• Mud Bowl Mayhem (Year 3):
  A playoff game played during an unexpected downpour turned the field into a swamp. Five players lost their cleats. One lost his pants. Ryan “Rhino” Carter still insists he scored that try, even though the ball was actually a clump of mud.

• WAGs vs Players Touch Match:
  Let’s just say… the WAGs didn’t play fair. And yes, there’s video footage of Sam Crosby juking her boyfriend out of his socks.

🗣 From Coach Maddox:

“You can’t train for the kind of energy this team brings. You just hope no one ends up in urgent care before the first whistle.”

🐢 Next Week on Throwback Thursday:

Batter up! The Scorpions step into the spotlight—complete with superstition, sunflower seed fights, and the time someone accidentally used icy hot as eye black.