💄 Throwdown Thursday: WAG Clapbacks That Went Nuclear 💥
They came. They saw. They verbally eviscerated.
This week, we’re honoring the real MVPs—the WAGs (wives and girlfriends) who turned trash talk into an art form and left haters choking on glitter and regret.
These aren’t just comebacks.
These are weapons of sass destruction.
💅 Clapback #1: The Instagram Incineration
WAG: Delilah Rose (Outlaws)
Target: Rival fan who commented, “Must be nice to ride your man’s coattails.”
Reply:
“You’re right, babe. His coattails are custom-stitched, silk-lined, and come with playoff bonuses. Ride’s smooth. You should try it—oh wait, you’d have to be invited. 💋”
Pete’s Take:
“That was so elegant, it should’ve been engraved on a champagne flute.”
🎤 Clapback #2: The Sideline Slaughter
WAG: Millie James (Armadillos)
Target: A drunk opposing fan yelling, “Your man’s gonna get wrecked!”
Response (caught on mic):
“Then I guess I’ll just wreck him back in bed tonight. Make sure to send flowers.”
Pete’s Take:
“The double entendre alone deserves a medal—and a cold shower.”
🧨 Clapback #3: The Glitter Grenade
WAG: Nova Thorne (Falcons)
Target: A hockey podcast that called her “just another puck bunny with crystals.”
Tweet:
“You’re right—I do believe in energy. And yours is giving ‘underpaid and overcompensating.’ Balance your chakras before you come for me, sweetheart.”
Pete’s Take:
“She saged the whole damn comment section. I felt that in my soul.”
🔥 Clapback #4: The Surgical Strike
WAG: Dr. Sienna Fredrich (Scorpions)
Target: A jealous ex who DM’d her a photo of her current man’s worst season stat.
Reply:
“You studied his stats? I study his anatomy. Guess we both know what he does best.”
Pete’s Take:
“I have no notes. Just a standing ovation and a deep, slightly terrified respect.”
👑 Bonus Entry: The Group Text Thermonuclear Detonation
WAG: Cassidy (Scorpions)
Target: PTA mom who muttered, “Baseball money doesn’t buy class.”
Cassidy’s Reply (with receipts):
“You’re right. It buys private school, bilingual nannies, and a husband who doesn’t ‘work late’ every Thursday. Should I continue?”
Pete’s Take:
“Cassidy didn’t just clap back—she dismantled that woman’s entire life structure.”
Got a WAG clapback that deserves legendary status?
Submit it to “Ask Penalty Pete” and he’ll rate it on the 🔥 Nuclear Sass Scale 🔥 from “Mild Side-Eye” to “Scorched Earth and Divorce Papers.”
👠 Next Week: Mascots Who Fought... and Probably Shouldn’t Have.
Yes, Tank. We’re looking at you.
Stay spicy, stay savage.
Penalty Pete out. 🐧💣
